


The Voyages of His Excellency, Supreme Shipmaster I-Voka of Vol-kahn

by pantswarrior



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Innuendo, Kink Meme, Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-29
Updated: 2010-08-29
Packaged: 2017-10-11 08:02:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/110200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pantswarrior/pseuds/pantswarrior
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Obviously, a grown Vulcan has no need for toys.  However, a lifelike model is a perfectly logical possession - and may be useful more often than one might expect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Voyages of His Excellency, Supreme Shipmaster I-Voka of Vol-kahn

His mother came to his room, days after he had returned to their home. "Spock," she began gently, far more gently than was necessary - he was, after all, a Vulcan. "I brought you something... I know it's difficult," she said, almost apologetically, "adjusting to life without I-Chaya."

Spock was, quite emphatically, not at all angry. "Mother, we have already discussed it," he said mildly, sitting up from where he had been reclining on his bed and reading... or at least staring at the words. "Another sehlat might possess basic physical similarities, but in much the same manner as you possess basic physical similarities to any other Terran, or Father to any other Vulcan. As you are unique, so was I-Chaya unique; the adoption of another sehlat would not undo what has been done, and what was done was necessary."

"Of course," she assured him. "The decision was perfectly logical. But I-Chaya had been a part of the household since before you were born - it's also perfectly logical to feel like something's missing."

Spock considered. "I suppose that you are correct," he acknowledged, reluctantly, "that the removal of something familiar would logically cause a sense of... absence."

She smiled, but it was not a happy smile as was the stereotype. His mother had taught him that there were many kinds of smiles among humans. "Your father and I have talked, and if you'd like to adopt another sehlat someday, it's just fine. But in the meantime..."

She ducked out of the doorway for a moment, bending down to pick something up. When she returned, her smile _was_ a happy smile, and she carried an oddly-shaped object in her arms, nearly as large as he was and wrapped in a swatch of dusty red fabric. "I had this specially made for you," she told Spock, coming to sit down on the end of his bed, placing the package between them. "I know it's not the same, but maybe it'll help, just a little."

"I do not require 'help'," Spock informed her, though not harshly; he had already taken a corner of the red fabric and begun unwrapping the gift. "I will simply readjust my expectations, given time."

She nodded in acknowledgment. "I phrased it poorly. I'm sorry."

But she was his mother - although Terran, she had lived among Vulcans long enough to understand how they regarded emotion. She had lived with _him_ long enough to understand that he had never been as capable of emotional control as full-blooded Vulcans of his age. Although, when he pulled the fabric down from the uppermost lump of the unusual package, he did manage to keep his expression neutral. "...What is this, precisely?" he inquired, although it was quite obvious what it was in general terms.

"This," his mother told him, brushing her fingers over some of the fur that had been mussed by the wrapping, "is something to keep you company. He might not be as useful as I-Chaya, but he _is_ soft and warm... and he'll never need you to make difficult decisions on his behalf."

Spock understood the logic of her reasoning, but for some reason, staring at the glass eyes that held no warmth, the stitched mouth in a permanent smile, he felt something very unpleasant. He tried to ignore it, however. "The craftsmanship is impressive," he noted.

His mother's smile widened a little. "There's a company on Earth that specializes in stuffed animal replicas - I had one of their bears when I was a little girl, and loved it," she explained. "They've had centuries to perfect their work, and although they'd never seen a sehlat, they just had to modify an existing pattern a little bit."

Spock recognized that his mother had made an effort to please him, and although it had not had the intended effect, the sentiment was appreciated. "Thank you for the gift," he said simply.

"You're welcome," she said just as simply, as she raised her hand to pat the toy sehlat on the head as she stood.

Once she had gone, Spock cleared away the rest of the fabric, revealing the whole of the sehlat. As he had noted, the craftsmanship was excellent. It was considerably smaller than a fully grown sehlat, of course, but the seams were not obvious, the joints made it posable, and the fur was shaggier in just the right places. This Terran company had indeed perfected their art.

However, the glass eyes were fixed, staring ahead, and the ears did not move. The mouth would not open to utter the familiar grunts or whines. There was, as far as Spock could tell, very little purpose to such a construction. He did not, of course, throw it across the room in frustrated grief. He simply did not have a use for it on his bed, and throwing it to the corner made it unnecessary for him to stand up and take it there himself.

...Though it landed on its side, it landed facing him. The glass eyes stared at him, the mouth continued to smile despite the awkward position.

Spock stared back, in spite of himself, and absolutely _did not_ feel guilty, because it would have been exceedingly illogical to feel guilt for the mistreatment of an inanimate object. However, aesthetically speaking, it looked rather absurd lying on its side, and he concluded that it was also illogical to leave it in such a state. He rose, going to set it upright in the corner.

It still seemed to be smiling at him, despite his stubborn frown.

Purely as an experiment, he reached out and put his arms around it, burying his face in the fur. The artificial fur was more coarse, but still fairly soft - and there was something inside the stuffed toy that warmed it. Not as warm as a real, living sehlat would have been, but noticeably warm to the touch.

After the experiment had gone on for a few more minutes, Spock took the stuffed sehlat back to his bed. Logic dictated that if he was in possession of such a comfortable object, it would be foolish not to take advantage of it.

\---

Several years later, after discussing his plans for the future with his father - and amidst pleas for calm directed at both of them by his mother, which was quite absurd when neither of them had raised his voice - Spock was faced with the task of deciding which of his belongings would accompany him to the Federation's Starfleet Academy. He was already aware that they would provide him with not only room and board, but a variety of technical equipment to facilitate his training, and a uniform would be issued upon arrival. There was very little that he would be expected to provide himself, aside from a work ethic and a mind eager to learn.

As material possessions were largely irrelevant, Spock acquired a single trunk in which to pack a few items which held significance to him and could not be reacquired offworld; his lyre, the ceremonial knife he had been given at his Tal'oth, a burner engraved with the likeness of several of the old deities and a supply of Vulcan incense. Beginning to close the trunk, Spock knelt to fasten a stubborn latch - and observed that it put him at a height with I-Voka, who was flopped on his stomach next to the pillow on his bed. Spock would certainly have no use for a stuffed sehlat at the Academy.

...On the other hand, I-Voka had been his most comfortable pillow through the years, and with years of use, had become even more comfortable. Furthermore, I-Voka was still smiling at him.

Spock gave up on the stubborn latch, and went to see if perhaps a larger trunk might be more willing to close properly. If so, it would be most economical to fill it.

\---

As was normal, Spock was assigned to a room with a roommate at the Academy. Fortunately, his roommate was also there to learn, and not predisposed to be offended by the cultural differences between Vulcans and humans. Cadet Bronson respected Spock's boundaries, and likewise Spock respected his.

Therefore, when Bronson requested to borrow Spock's coat, as his own was being laundered after a day of field exercises in the rain, Spock had no objections - until Bronson opened Spock's wardrobe and then leaned down to get a better look at something behind Spock's boots.

When Bronson regained consciousness, Spock warned him that although a sehlat was quiet, largely self-sufficient, and unfailingly loyal to its master, it was capable of stunning an unfamiliar stranger if startled. Bronson agreed that from now on, he'd ask Spock to get anything out of his wardrobe.

It wasn't that he'd panicked, of course. The exercise had given Spock assurance that Bronson would not snoop through his belongings in the future. It was also good to know with precision just how well the nerve-pinch worked on humans.

\---

Aboard the Enterprise, of course, Spock had privacy once more. Quarters that were strictly his, to be furnished any way he desired. And if it might seem quite strange for a ranking officer such as himself to retain what appeared to be a child's plaything, it was by no means causing anyone harm.

Also, the red curtains draped artfully over the walls provided a quick and simple hiding place even for such a large creature as I-Voka, provided that no one looked too closely. This was proven repeatedly by people requesting entry while Spock was reclining on his bed to read, PADD in hand, his head resting on I-Voka's side as was his habit since childhood.

It never presented a problem through the entirety of Pike's service as captain - nor Kirk's, until the day they had the misfortune to encounter a particular hostile species. The creatures of Darrius VII were humanoid at first glance, but invertebrates; once they had snuck aboard the ship in an attempt to take control, they could squeeze and bend their bodies to fit into spaces where a human could not go. Once the ringleaders were captured and neutralized, there was a shipwide sweep to find the rest of their cohorts, working level by level - this included officers' quarters.

Security teams had been assigned to most of the deck, but the captain had chosen to take responsibility for the search of his own quarters and the surrounding area, accompanied by Dr. McCoy, who had developed a chemical cocktail to make the flexible cartilage that supported the Darrians' bodies go rigid as bone upon injection. Spock chose to accompany them as well, armed with a second hypospray of the concoction, because it was in his best interests to protect the captain and chief medical officer.

It was also in his best interests to assure them that the 'lump' which Dr. McCoy had pointed out behind the draperies was nothing to be concerned about.

"Well, just to be sure," said the captain, taking a step closer and lifting his hand toward the fabric.

"Captain," Spock said. "The probability of there being a Darrian behind that curtain is nil."

The captain paused, looking back at him in surprise. "...Literally 'nil', Spock?"

"If it were not so," Spock pointed out, "I would have given you the exact odds."

"I'm aware of that," Kirk noted. "I've never before heard you say that there's absolutely _no_ probability of something."

"Then are we in agreement," Spock suggested, "that there is no need to look behind that curtain?"

"Well, now you've got me all curious," McCoy spoke up. "For once in your life, you didn't rattle off a long string of numbers to tell us something's unlikely. Whatever _is_ behind that curtain that's definitely not a Darrian, I'd like to tell it how grateful I am that it taught you the virtue of brevity."

"As it is an inanimate object," Spock informed him, "I believe it would be approximately as unreceptive to your declarations of gratitude as I."

"Now, now, gentlemen," Kirk interrupted them. "I'll admit you've got me curious too, Spock - but Bones, you _must_ agree that Spock is both thorough and accurate. If he says we don't need to look behind that curtain, then that's good enough for me."

"Thank you for holding me in such high regard, captain," Spock told him with a respectful nod.

"You've more than earned it," Kirk replied, almost dismissive. "Now how about the desk? I'm sure they could fold themselves up into those drawers."

"Agreed; by volume, the desk contains plenty of room for a Darrian."

Unnoticed as the captain and Spock turned away to check the drawers under the desk, McCoy waited, taking a couple steps back while they were otherwise occupied. His eyes widened for a moment as he peeked behind the curtain, then an eyebrow lifted skeptically. His lips twitched, but he managed to bring them into a properly serious frown again before he joined Kirk and Spock in examining the desk.

\---

Once the situation was under control, each of the intruders captured and removed from the ship, McCoy nudged the captain's arm as he signed off on the incident report. "I'd ask what has you smirking, Bones," Kirk remarked, handing the PADD off to a yeoman, "but I'd say you deserve to be a little smug right now."

"Nice of you to say so, Jim." McCoy acknowledged the praise with a casual nod. "But actually, I've got something to tell you. Got a minute?"

"I believe so, yes," Kirk agreed, giving him a curious look as he rose from the captain's chair. "I assume it's not bad news."

"Not at all, though I wouldn't say it's _good_ news either," McCoy told him. "Just something you might find interesting."

Once command had been handed over to LaSalle - it was well past time for the shift change anyway - and the two of them had secluded themselves inside the conference room, Kirk asked again. "So what is it that you find amusing and I'll find interesting?"

"Remember when we were searching Spock's room earlier?" McCoy began. "And there was something behind that curtain, but he wouldn't let us look?"

"Yes, I remember. Very odd," Kirk mused. But already he'd caught on. "You figured it out?"

"Took a peek while you two were around the corner," said McCoy. "And don't start lecturing me about snooping, Jim - you know you were as curious as I was."

"True, and if I start lecturing you about snooping," Kirk agreed, already starting to smile a little bit himself, "I imagine you won't tell me what your little investigation uncovered."

McCoy nodded, and paused, solely for dramatic effect. "A gigantic stuffed animal."

Kirk's initial expression was surprise, but quickly turned to incredulity. "...A gigantic stuffed animal?" McCoy nodded proudly. "Like a... teddy bear?" Kirk continued.

"It did look something like a teddy bear," McCoy replied, "except for the giant fangs."

"...A teddy bear with giant fangs..." Kirk thought for a moment. "Didn't Lady Amanda say something about..."

"If I'm remembering correctly, it was a sehlat," McCoy confirmed. "Supposedly he had a real one as a kid, and was very fond of it."

"But this one's a stuffed animal," Kirk said. "Just to clarify."

"Took me a second to realize, since I wasn't expecting to see _eyes and fangs_ behind that curtain - but yes, this one's stuffed. Looks well-loved, too," McCoy added.

Kirk cocked his head curiously. "'Well-loved', Bones? How can you tell?"

"In case you've forgotten, I've got a little girl back home," McCoy pointed out. "I've seen a few stuffed animals in my time that have been snuggled half to death."

"Well, then..." Kirk shrugged, still straight-faced. "At least I won't have to give Spock a write-up for bringing an unauthorized life form on board."

"Come on, Jim." McCoy gave him a dark look. "I didn't tell you so you'd go all red tape and paperwork on me. Our logical Vulcan first officer is hiding a _giant stuffed toy_ in his quarters. Surely you can see why I find that _hilarious_."

"Oh, I understand." Even so, he gave McCoy a serious look of his own. "However, I'm not sure we should be talking about Spock and his personal possessions behind his back like this."

McCoy could see the nuance in that serious look, though. "You're right," he said with a nod. "It's an awful lot more fun teasing him to his face."

"Precisely," Kirk agreed, finally cracking a smile. "Let's go find him."

\---

Spock was, at the moment, in the arboretum, where they caught up with him. "You're not doing anything important right now, are you, Spock?" the captain asked, as Spock turned from one of the planters to face him.

"I was merely examining the growth rate of some recent transplants," Spock replied. "Is there something I may do for you, captain?"

"There's something Bones and I would like to discuss," Kirk said. "Nothing too serious, of course - just something strange that the doctor observed while we were hunting for the missing Darrians. I'd like to have your opinion on the subject."

"Very well."

"Not here, though," Kirk clarified. "Why don't we go back to my quarters? It's... something of a personal nature, and I'm sure the person to whom it pertains would appreciate it being kept quiet."

"That seems reasonable."

They were in the turbolift before Spock began to suspect that something wasn't right. "Dr. McCoy," he began. "You have been unusually quiet and devoid of sarcastic observations for a situation which is, by the captain's standards, 'nothing too serious'."

"Oh, don't get too concerned on my behalf," McCoy replied, matter-of-fact. "Could be I'm just saving them up."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "I had assumed your supply of sarcasm was infinite."

"Thanks, Spock," McCoy said brightly, as Kirk tried to hide his smirk. "Good to know you have faith in me."

"Is that better, Spock?" Kirk inquired.

"Much, thank you."

"This should be fun," McCoy murmured in amusement under his breath.

"What should?"

"Oh, you'll see..."

The captain was probably fooling no one when he stopped in the corridor, a short ways before his door and Spock's. "You know, on second thought," he said casually, "why don't we have our discussion in your room, Spock? As long as it's suitable for company."

Spock gave him a long-suffering look. "I have made it a point to keep my quarters in order at all times."

"Of course," Kirk agreed. "But, you never know - sometimes you might accidentally leave something embarrassing lying around..."

"I have nothing embarrassing to accidentally leave in the open," Spock stated. "I am a Vulcan. If I possess something, there is a logical reason for me to possess it."

"Nothing embarrassing at all?"

"Nothing at all." Spock did, however, look slightly suspicious as he gave the both of them a look over. "If this is regarding the incident earlier, in which I forbade you to look behind my draperies," he told them, starting towards his door, "then by all means - now that we do not have more pressing business to attend to, you may look."

"Thank you, Spock - I appreciate it." Kirk did exchange a puzzled look with McCoy before entering, however.

Once inside, it was Spock himself who led the way to the draperies that lined the walls around his bed. "As you can plainly see," he said, pulling aside the curtains himself, "there is nothing at all out of the ordinary, much less 'embarrassing'."

Oddly enough, there wasn't. The only things revealed by the curtains having been drawn aside were the plain walls behind them. "Well, that's interesting," McCoy commented. "I'm pretty sure there was something behind there earlier."

"You are welcome to examine further, if you wish to squander your time now that we are all off-duty," Spock said, stepping back to wait by his desk.

"There was definitely something here," McCoy insisted, taking Spock up on his offer; the curtains were now pooled in the corners of the room, and he lifted them away to look. "You must have moved it."

"I believe that what you saw was no more than a trick of the light," Spock stated.

Kirk, in the meantime, stood by watching with arms folded, thoughtful. "Ordinarily, I'd have to wonder if this was one of the doctor's jokes. But if it was indeed a trick of the light, Spock, why didn't you let us look earlier?"

"Because there was no need, and you would have been wasting time. You are still wasting time," he pointed out, "but not while potential invaders threaten the ship."

"Be that as it may, something just doesn't quite..." Kirk's voice trailed off, as he spotted something unusual, behind Spock. "...What's that underneath your desk?"

Spock wasn't fazed for a moment. "I believe it is called a chair."

"Behind the chair, wedged between it and the desk," Kirk clarified, as McCoy abandoned his examination of the curtains and came to have a look. "I'm pretty sure none of our chairs have eyes..."

"Or fangs," McCoy added, grinning. "The cat's out of the bag, Spock."

"I do not have a cat," Spock said, quite reasonably, and didn't budge from his position, barring the way to his desk. "And if I did, I would not keep it in a bag."

"But you do keep a stuffed sehlat under your desk," McCoy pointed out.

"That," Spock stated, "is not its usual place."

"So why is it there?" Kirk inquired, a twinkle in his eye. "Spock, it's too late to deny it - we already know."

"I have the impression," Spock said, leveling a grave expression on Dr. McCoy, "that you already knew before arriving."

"Here I thought 'scientific curiosity' might be something you could relate to," McCoy told him with a grin.

"Now, Spock - it's not as if it's something to be ashamed of," said Kirk. "It's just... unexpected."

"Why should it be so unexpected?" Spock asked, turning to step behind his desk, pulling the chair away. "The sehlat is a life form native to Vulcan."

"The fact it's a sehlat seems pretty logical to me," McCoy remarked, as Spock removed the stuffed animal from beneath the desk. "It's the fact that you've got a giant stuffed _toy_ that makes it unexpected."

"It is not a toy," Spock stated, emerging from behind his desk to set it on the floor between himself and the two other men. "It is a model."

"A very _cute_ model," Kirk observed.

"Aren't models meant for display?" McCoy added. "One would think you were ashamed, hiding it behind the curtains, under the desk..."

"Vulcans are not subject to emotions such as shame. It is simply that sehlats do not, in the wild, let themselves be seen, for they are natural predators," Spock informed them. "In such an environment as my room, a real sehlat would certainly have determined that hiding behind the curtain or under the desk would have provided the best position from which to observe its prey."

"So in other words, you're pretending it's real?" McCoy put in brightly, and received a dark look from Spock.

Kirk was trying not to laugh. "Spock, it's all right - we might be teasing you a little bit, but there's nothing wrong with having something like this," he assured him. "We all have objects that hold a special significance for us, relics of our pasts... Things that might seem silly to other people, but are anything but for us. When I was younger - and Bones, you can laugh at me too if you like," he added as an aside. "When I was younger, I had a stuffed dog, with big, floppy ears. My father's mother gave him to me as a child; Rover and I were inseparable. He accompanied me on all my boyhood adventures - fishing, fighting monsters, climbing trees..."

"Joanna had a bunny like that," McCoy remarked, his smirk turning to a more nostalgic smile. "Big as she was, when we got it for her. She took that thing everywhere."

"So you see," Kirk continued. "There's no need to be ashamed, or self-conscious, about holding onto a childhood possession. We all have things like that of our own."

"Perhaps not," Spock said, with a slight, serious nod. "Although that begs the question, captain - do you still have this 'Rover'?"

Kirk's smile faded somewhat. "Well, no," he admitted. "I passed him on to Sam's first son... I'm not quite sure where he wound up."

"I see."

"Anyway, it's not about having a stuffed toy, Spock," McCoy told him, still with a distant smile of his own. "It's about the fact that for all your talk about logical Vulcan ways, we're not really all that different, as much as you hate to admit it. Humans have favorite stuffed animals, Vulcans have favorite stuffed animals..."

"Actually," Spock interrupted, "it is not a custom among Vulcans. This sehlat was given to me by my mother, who had it specially made by a Terran company."

"Well then," Kirk reasoned, "that makes it all that much more logical. In the future, don't feel as though you need to hide it from us, Spock. You don't."

"Plus, it was the fact you were trying to hide it that made it especially funny," McCoy pointed out, the smirk creeping back.

"I see." Spock glanced down, regarding the sehlat with a neutral expression, and then picked it up again. "In that case, I will not concern myself with I-Voka's visibility from now on."

"You named it?" McCoy burst out, incredulous.

"Bones," Kirk murmured, holding up one hand in warning before turning his attention back to Spock. "What you keep in your own quarters is your own business, so long as it's not against regulations. Even if some of us find it rather amusing. We'll let you be now."

"Thank you, captain," Spock said, settling the sehlat on the end of his desk. "I appreciate your support."

Kirk hesitated on his way out the door, turning back for a moment after McCoy had gone. "Spock," he added. "To be perfectly honest - I may not have Rover anymore... but sometimes I miss him."

Spock nodded, just slightly. "If one grew up with something, and then was separated from it... it is logical that one would feel a sense of absence."

Kirk nodded in return, and smiled fondly as he chucked the stuffed sehlat under the chin. "Carry on," was all he said as he turned to leave.

\---

Spock took the captain and doctor at their word. The next time Kirk came to his door to discuss a matter pertaining to the ship's business, I-Voka was standing watch from the floor at the foot of Spock's bed; the captain made no comment, though at the end of their conversation, he did glance in that direction and smile. Eventually, it was not worth notice for either of them.

It was the captain who most frequently visited his quarters, however, and Spock had grown so accustomed to the lack of commentary on I-Voka's presence, he was taken somewhat by surprise when Dr. McCoy stopped by to discuss getting some of the chemistry staff in science division to confirm his medical staff's findings on some compounds they'd been testing - and the topic of conversation changed abruptly.

"...Spock, why is your sehlat on your bed?"

Spock raised an eyebrow, as if the answer were most obvious. "The sehlat is on my bed because it was on my bed when you requested entry, and I saw no need to move it."

The sparkle in the doctor's eye seemed to indicate that he found this funny. "Do you actually sleep with that thing?"

"Your phrasing is questionable," Spock replied. "In Terran vernacular, to 'sleep with' something implies an activity which I am certainly not engaging in with a stuffed sehlat."

"I would hope not," McCoy muttered, amused. "And since you're actually _avoiding_ literal interpretations today, I'm going to assume the answer is yes."

Spock paused, and then started for his bedroom, McCoy following after. "This sehlat, manufactured by a Terran company, is made of soft, cushioning materials," Spock explained. "The materials are similar to what the people of Earth use for pillows - yet considerably larger and therefore softer than the materials used in the pillows issued by Starfleet."

"Starfleet's standard pillows are ergonomic and efficient," McCoy informed him, looking on as Spock sat down on the bed, settling the sehlat sideways at the head, where the pillow would ordinarily be. "They take up less space while providing proper spinal alignment."

"Perhaps that is true while one is sleeping," Spock replied. "However, if one wishes to recline while reading, for instance, standard issue Starfleet pillows put one at a rather awkward angle. By comparison," he concluded, illustrating his point by lying back, resting his head and shoulders on the sehlat's side between the front and rear legs, "I-Voka has proven to provide me with an excellent angle from which to read."

He folded his hands in his lap. McCoy simply looked down at him, arms folded. "You may have a point," McCoy conceded. "Still..."

"If you are still uncertain as to the logic of my behavior, doctor," Spock suggested, sitting up again and getting to his feet. He stepped aside, gesturing to the bed. "I invite you to experience it for yourself, that you might draw your own conclusions."

McCoy stared at him for a moment, incredulous. "You're asking _me_ to... Are you trying to poke fun at me?"

Spock raised an eyebrow. "Were _you_ attempting to poke fun at _me_?"

"Of course I was," McCoy said dismissively. "What would you expect?"

"By contrast, I am simply demonstrating that there is nothing to poke fun at," Spock stated. "Or are you, being a prideful human, afraid of having made an error?"

"Oh, fine, I'll humor you," McCoy told him, sitting down on the bed and lying back. He shifted a little bit, a curious look beginning to cross his face. "...Mmm."

"Do you find it comfortable?" Spock inquired.

"Yes, I do." McCoy wriggled his shoulders a little more. "Actually... Is this thing _warm_?"

"It is an optional feature intended to provide further comfort and realism," said Spock from around the corner, where he'd gone to his desk for a moment. He returned with his PADD, offering it to the doctor. "And as you may observe, the greater height allows for much easier reading."

"You're right," McCoy agreed, drawing up his knees to rest the PADD against them. "I have to admit, this is pretty nice."

"Then you concede," Spock prompted, "that there is nothing illogical about the sehlat's placement on my bed."

McCoy grimaced. "Nothing at all," he said, handing the PADD back to Spock. "So anyway, back to business - if you've got maybe three or four with a little extra time in their schedules, we've got everything still set up in-"

"Doctor," Spock cut in. "If we are to conduct business, perhaps you should do so from an upright position, rather than reclining on my bed."

"Er, right," McCoy agreed, reluctantly getting up.

\---

Not only did Dr. McCoy voice no further objections to I-Voka's placement, Spock discovered a few weeks later that he must have changed his opinion rather dramatically.

It wasn't unusual that the captain should stop by Spock's quarters, but this time it seemed to have very little to do with official business, except for the fact that there had been perhaps too much official business in recent weeks. "For awhile there, there was never a dull moment," Kirk was saying. "And that's how I'd prefer it - because now that we've got plenty of dull moments, they're made even more dull by my having to catch up on all the mundane, day-to-day documentation and status reports and so on that we'd been neglecting. All that reading and writing," he said, wincing and rubbing the back of his neck, "has been making me a little stiff. I went to see Bones earlier, to see if he could come up with something to take care of it - and oddly enough, after thinking about it for a moment, he suggested that I should ask you."

"The discomfort you describe sounds attributable to muscle strain," Spock observed. "A common affliction; I am unsure of why the doctor would send you to me for a cure."

"I don't know either," Kirk puzzled. "Even I know how to treat this kind of thing on a basic level. Relaxation, pressure, warmth..."

Spock realized abruptly what the doctor had been suggesting.

"I would have guessed an old-fashioned compress would do the trick well enough," Kirk continued. "But Bones seemed to think you had some kind of special Vulcan remedy, or something like that..."

Spock wondered if Dr. McCoy had been intending to make this into some sort of joke, and if the captain's discomfort was even genuine - but on second thought, he decided that it did not matter. "I believe I have determined which remedy Dr. McCoy may have been recommending," he said, heading for his bedroom. "After all, he was quite taken with it himself after a demonstration."

Upon Spock's gesture, the captain stared quizzically in the direction he had indicated, and then back up to Spock. "...Er... he was recommending... your bed, Spock?"

"He was recommending my stuffed sehlat," Spock said, without awkwardness. There was no reason to be awkward, logically speaking - and it would have been far more awkward for the captain to believe that he had given a demonstration of his bed to Dr. McCoy.

"Ah," Kirk agreed with a nod. "That makes... much more sense, yes." He paused. "...Somewhat."

"My sehlat," Spock explained, "has a warming mechanism within, and I have found it quite comfortable to lie against its back while reading and writing."

After repositioning I-Voka, to a settled pose rather than sitting up straight, Kirk seemed to find it just as comfortable as McCoy had, if not more so. "Oh. _Oh,_, that's nice," he murmured, settling himself. "I thought you were putting me on about Bones, but something like this might just put even our grumpy doctor into a good mood."

"He did, in fact, send you to me?" Spock asked. "For reasons other than teasing?"

"He didn't tell me _what_ solution you had, just that you had one," Kirk confirmed. "I suppose he was a little embarrassed to admit there was a definite advantage to this t- rather, this _model_ of yours, and that he'd tried it."

"In that case, if you would like to borrow I-Voka for a short while," Spock offered, "that would be acceptable."

"You're a lifesaver, Spock," Kirk told him, sitting up. "You and... I-Voka, you said? That's its name?"

Spock considered defending the logic behind naming an inanimate object, and decided not to bother. "...Yes."

With Kirk, he didn't have to put up a defense; the captain just smiled as he tucked I-Voka under his arm. "Probably a better name than 'Rover'. Thank you, Spock."

"You are welcome," he said, as Kirk started for the door - and then something occurred to him.

The same thing seemed to have occurred to Kirk as well, and he stopped short of the door's sensor, glancing down at the large stuffed animal under his arm. "...Actually, Spock... I wouldn't want to... take him from you." He paused again. "...Is it a 'him'?"

"As a plush replica cannot reproduce," Spock pointed out logically, because it was certainly nothing worth thinking about, "I would think it does not matter to him."

Kirk brightened, giving Spock a wink. "'Him', then."

Spock maintained a neutral expression. "Anyway, if you wouldn't mind," the captain continued, "maybe I could just stay for a little while? He might cause a bit of a stir in the hall."

"By all means," Spock agreed. "I am due in one of the laboratories shortly, to oversee the conclusion of a test. While I am gone, you are welcome to make use of my quarters."

"Thanks again," Kirk told him with a grin, going to settle I-Voka back on the bed.

I-Voka was the most questionable object Spock possessed, by far. Even if the captain was inclined to look around, he would find nothing that could not be readily explained as either a necessity, a cultural artifact, or a perfectly normal recreational pursuit. Spock was unconcerned about Kirk's unaccompanied presence in his quarters.

He was somewhat surprised, however, when he returned several hours later to find Kirk still there. More surprising was his position; the captain was curled up on his side, arms wrapped around I-Voka, who was now beside him.

Spock stood over him for several seconds, considering, before he spoke. "Captain?"

Kirk started at the sound of Spock's voice, but still groggy, didn't open his eyes just yet. He hummed faintly in contentment, squeezing the sehlat tighter, and nuzzled against it. Just for a second - then he froze, and opened his eyes, looking up at Spock.

"Captain," Spock continued, raising an eyebrow. "Although your habit of attempting to mate even with those of differing species is well-known, I do not believe I-Voka will be receptive."

"Spock," Kirk began, starting to sit up. "I wasn't... ah..." He glanced back down at the sehlat. "...He really is very comfortable, you know," he told Spock with a helpless smile.

"I am aware of that," Spock stated. "And now, I am aware that _you_ are aware of it too. Captain," he added belatedly.

Kirk nodded sheepishly. "Your secret's safe with me," he acknowledged.

As he was Vulcan, Spock was most certainly not 'smug'.

\---

One of the recurring problems with Kirk's command was that his tendency to be in the thick of the action frequently wound up getting him injured. It was a constant source of frustration for McCoy - he was _always_ having to patch the man back together.

When it came to the residual aches and pains after his treatments, though, there was that Vulcan home remedy, as they'd taken to calling it.

After a particularly bad mission, though, Jim had been through enough trauma that McCoy wanted to keep an eye on him in sickbay. There were heating pads, sure, and the beds were adjustable, but they just weren't the same. There was nothing to be done for it; McCoy went to the intercom. "Sickbay to Spock."

"This is Spock," came the reply. "Has there been any change in the captain's status, doctor?"

"He's recovering," McCoy assured him. "Just wondered if we could borrow that Vulcan home remedy of yours."

"By all means."

"Great. Would you bring it to sickbay for us?" And that, McCoy thought, would be worth a few much-needed laughs for Jim and himself - the Vulcan carrying a giant stuffed animal through the ship...

"Currently, I cannot," Spock replied. "Since the captain is convalescing, I have command, and my place is on the bridge."

"...You're on the bridge now?"

"Yes."

Good thing that McCoy hadn't been specific about what he wanted Spock to bring, then. Or maybe not, he reconsidered; it might have been pretty funny to find out what the rest of the bridge crew thought of Spock's sehlat. ...But then again, the fact that _he_ was actually using it for _medical_ applications would probably have made him the butt of just as many jokes.

"If you wish to go to my quarters and retrieve it yourself, however," Spock continued, "I will program the doors to open for you."

"No, that's okay," McCoy assured him. "We'll be..."

He was cut off by the look Kirk was giving him, sad and pathetic - like some kind of huge puppy.

"Dr. McCoy?" Spock prompted.

He sighed. One might have thought it was _Jim's_ beloved childhood toy. "Never mind. I'll get it."

"Very well." There were a few beeps. "Access has been enabled. Is there anything else I may do for you, doctor?"

"No, that'll be it, thanks." McCoy gave Kirk's shoulder a distracted pat, already feeling like an idiot. "Be right back, Jim."

It was the middle of the day - there were people everywhere, and McCoy confirmed that on his way to Spock's quarters. Crew running here and there through the corridors, turbolifts busy... McCoy wondered if there was a way to make it back to sickbay without being seen. Not too likely, though he could minimize his visibility by taking the roundabout way.

On the other hand, he realized as he approached Spock's door, there was an access chute not too far away. Nearly forgotten, because it was kept locked except in case of emergency for security reasons - they didn't want just anyone making their way to the captain's and first officer's door from another deck, after all - but his own security code should unlock it.

Now _that_ was a plan. Ducking inside Spock's door, he grabbed the sehlat from its place at the foot of Spock's bed, and peeked out into the corridor, making sure it was clear before he stepped outside.

McCoy thought he heard footsteps further down the corridor, and punched the wrong numbers on the keypad the first time thanks to his hurry. The second time, the computer confirmed him, and he climbed into the chute before those footsteps got any closer.

It was kind of tedious, trying to climb a ladder with a large stuffed animal, but McCoy managed well enough, if a little more slowly than usual. The question was, how was he going to punch in the code _and_ hold onto the ladder without letting go of the sehlat? He supposed he'd figure something out once he got there. And he _was_ almost there...

Strangely enough, the door one level before sickbay opened all on its own. But almost before he'd had time to notice that it shouldn't have, there was a startled yelp behind him - and he dropped the sehlat in alarm at the sound of a phaser firing.

"Hold it, lads - it _is_ Dr. McCoy after all!" McCoy looked over his shoulder in astonishment, and found Scotty staring back, just as astonished and flanked by several startled security officers. "What do you think you're doing?" Scotty asked, incredulous.

"I'm going back to sickbay - what do _you_ think you're doing?" McCoy demanded, stepping off the ladder.

"Well, the computer reported an invalid security code had been input, then a correct one," Scotty explained. "Security notified me, and I figured since I had access to this chute, I'd catch whoever it was by surprise right here. Just in case."

"Catch me by surprise?" McCoy exclaimed. "You nearly _shot_ me!"

"Sorry, sir." One of the red-shirted ensigns spoke up sheepishly. "When the door opened, I saw that _thing_..."

...He'd had the sehlat under his arm, facing backwards as he climbed. McCoy supposed a door opening to that might indeed be a shock.

"Aye, what _is_ this beastie?" Scotty inquired, picking it up from where it had fallen on the platform. Examining the face, he looked up to McCoy and smiled brightly. "You know, on second glance, it's a wee bit cute. I wouldn't have expected you to have something like this, doctor."

One of the security officers covered _something_ with a cough, and McCoy scowled at them. "It's not mine - I'm just taking it to the captain. He's still got some aches and pains, see..."

There were a couple more noises that didn't quite sound like coughs, and Scotty nodded knowingly. "I see. I'm sure the captain will... appreciate it."

McCoy scowled more severely. "This isn't a present - it belongs to _Spock_, all right?"

"Of course it does," Scotty said with another knowing nod, to more stifled snickers from his security team. "Now that you mention it, looks just like the kind of thing Mr. Spock would keep around."

McCoy gave up and just grabbed the sehlat back from him and got back onto the ladder. Damn that Vulcan and his stupid useful _cute_ toys.

\---

Nurse Chapel seemed to like the stuffed sehlat an awful lot, and Kirk couldn't complain. If he had to be laid up in sickbay for a while, having a pretty nurse hovering around and paying attention to him - or at least his surroundings - was at least making it more pleasant. Not to mention the sehlat itself, warm and soothing to the aching muscles that had been under such stress.

Comforting as the experience had suddenly become, Kirk had no desire to stay in sickbay any longer than he had to, however. When McCoy came by later that evening to check him over again, and decided he was free to leave, Kirk was more than happy to. Especially since Chapel's shift had ended an hour ago.

"Why don't you take that thing," McCoy gestured vaguely towards the sehlat, "with you when you go? Spock's quarters are right next to yours, after all."

McCoy had been oddly twitchy about the sehlat once he'd brought it to sickbay. Kirk had some idea he might know why. "I don't know, Bones - I'm still recovering, aren't I?"

"It's not heavy."

"Well, I also have to catch up on everything I've missed, and now you don't have any patients to attend-"

"_I'm_ not taking it back," McCoy said firmly, hands on his hips. "Listen, I brought it here, and I want that thing _out_ of my sickbay as soon as possible."

"Maybe we could ask Nurse Chapel to take it?" Kirk suggested. "She seems to like it - and she might like an excuse to visit Spock's room, don't you think?"

"That's a thought," McCoy muttered, pondering it. Suddenly, he smiled. "Or we could just ask Spock to come pick it up. Doesn't seem fair to ask Christine to run errands when she's off-duty."

If nothing else, Kirk thought, it might be worth seeing the excuses Spock would come up with if he declined. "All right - let's call Spock," he agreed with a smile.

To their surprise, Spock made no excuses, and arrived in sickbay quickly, picking up the sehlat without comment. "I appreciate the loan, Spock," Kirk told him, but he was curious. "So you're all right with taking him back to your quarters?"

Spock looked to McCoy. "As I have been functioning as captain of the Enterprise," he stated, "I was informed when there was an incident inside one of the emergency access chutes leading to the junction near the captain and first officer's quarters."

Kirk looked to McCoy as well, and found him turning red. "...What kind of incident was this?" Kirk asked the two of them.

"You don't have any room to talk, Spock," McCoy grumbled at him. "Not if you're planning on taking that thing back up the same way. Aren't Vulcans supposed to be above shame?"

"It is a short, quick route," Spock reasoned. "It is a logical option."

"If you want to get shot at by trigger-happy security officers, maybe."

"Shot at?" Kirk jumped in. "Bones, what happened?"

"I intend to avoid such annoyances by entering my access code correctly the first time," Spock stated.

Despite his first officer and CMO ignoring him, Kirk thought he was starting to put the pieces together about what had happened. But before he could say anything, the door to sickbay opened. "Mr. Spock!" Chapel said, surprised and obviously quite pleased. "I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"And that must be the... what did you say it was called, a sehlat?" asked Uhura, entering with her.

"...That is correct," Spock answered, obviously caught somewhat off guard by the appearance of the two women. "It is a replica of a sehlat, one of Vulcan's native life forms."

"It's adorable," Uhura told him. "Can I have a look? Christine told me you brought it down for the captain."

"It has certain therapeutic qualities," Spock acknowledged, offering the sehlat to Uhura.

"Oh, it's warm!" Uhura exclaimed, burying her face in the fur.

"Didn't I tell you?" Chapel said, reaching over to pet the sehlat herself with a smile for Spock.

"How sweet... Where did you get this?" Uhura asked.

"It was given to me as a gift when I still lived on Vulcan." Now that he'd found his bearings again, Kirk observed that Spock seemed unperturbed by the attention being lavished upon his toy.

He wasn't the only one to make that observation; McCoy leaned over to Kirk. "Can't help but notice he doesn't seem so defensive about it this time."

"Well, they're not making fun of him," Kirk whispered back.

"True..."

"It's nice to get to see it without the captain lying on top of it," Chapel remarked, taking the front paws for a better look. "But I'm sure it _is_ very comfortable."

"Can I try it?" Uhura asked Spock with a bright smile.

"I believe that Dr. McCoy told me he would like it removed from his sickbay at once," Spock replied. "However, if you would like to accompany me to my quarters, perhaps I could illustrate the benefits for you there."

"May I come too?" Chapel asked. "I'd love to see how it works myself."

Spock raised an eyebrow as if the question were quite unnecessary. "Of course you may."

McCoy and Kirk stared after Spock and the two women as they left. "...You know, Bones," Kirk mused, "I think I may be developing a certain amount of... resentment, towards Spock."

"You and me both," McCoy muttered. "Chapel _and_ Uhura, in his quarters?"

"In his _bed_," Kirk added.

"And he even got Uhura to carry that thing for him," McCoy said. "Without saying a word."

"And the worst part?"

McCoy nodded; he knew exactly what Kirk meant. "All of this..." he finished, "and he's _Vulcan_."

Kirk nodded. "It's wasted on him. Completely wasted."

\---

There were a few jokes that made their way around the ship in the coming days. Kirk finally got the whole story of what had happened in that access chute from Scotty, as there were plenty of laughs at McCoy's expense - and there was a certain amount of incredulity when it got around that the stuffed animal was indeed Spock's, thanks to Chapel and Uhura. But Spock, being from another world and another culture, had plenty of unexpected quirks that the crew had grown accustomed to; his possession of a large, ferocious, but strangely cute stuffed animal was a relatively small and insignificant oddity, in that it wouldn't be particularly odd for anyone else. McCoy had his collection of exotic skulls, Sulu had his alien plants, so why shouldn't Spock have a lifelike replica of one of his own planet's animals? Kirk hadn't thought of the sehlat at all for some time, except inasmuch as he saw it in Spock's quarters occasionally, and it was business as usual for the Enterprise and her crew.

Which included, of course, contact with hostile alien beings.

They were in an uncharted region, collecting data on the stars and their systems within, when the ship was suddenly hit by an energy blast, coming from what had previously appeared to be an asteroid, one of many in the belt through which they traveled. Shields were up, the Enterprise was on red alert, and now they had made visual contact, though the picture was unclear and grainy. It was barely enough to see the beings who had fired upon them, which were hairy humanoids with large sharp fangs.

"Pathetic little fleshy things," the one on the left snarled, and the other grunted in approval. "We will destroy you."

"We come in peace," Kirk told them firmly. "We intend no harm to you or your way of life."

"You are already dead," said the other. "Soft creatures like you cannot survive in our territory."

Another blast, entirely ineffective, hit the shields. "We are representatives of-" Kirk began, but the aliens only fired again.

"You are intruders into our realm - you will die, hairless ones!"

"Cut communications for now," Kirk told Uhura. "Spock, what do you make of this?"

"Although we had previously estimated that the tenth planet was too cold for life as we know it to exist," Spock replied, "I believe these creatures originated there. I am now reading a great deal of movement at the northern pole, though no lifesigns - perhaps their metabolism is entirely different, or they have technology that shelters them from their environment on a very limited scale. Either way, they have a propensity for territorialism, perhaps due to the harsh conditions on their planet, and do not tolerate outsiders."

"I'd noticed," Kirk said. "What about their ship?"

"Sir!" Sulu spoke up.

"One moment," Kirk said. "Spock?"

"The extremely low temperature they maintain, as well as the lack of recognizable lifesigns, must have prevented us from recognizing that it was a vehicle, rather than simply another asteroid. Their visual communications and weaponry appear to be primitive, and unless they have developed an entirely unique propulsion system, they have nothing comparable to warp drive."

"Then we should be able to leave in a hurry, shouldn't we?" Kirk stated. "Sulu?"

"Captain, we're in the middle of an asteroid belt," Sulu reminded him. "I can handle it at full impulse, but we can't go into warp - and besides..." Sulu gestured at the screen. "...A lot of those aren't just asteroids."

Sure enough, some of them were moving out of their haphazard formation, coming closer to the Enterprise. "Now that I have recalibrated the sensors," Spock confirmed, "there are at least one hundred and twenty seven objects which the computer believes to be ships similar to the one that fired upon the Enterprise, and they are moving in to surround us."

Kirk opened a line to engineering. "Scotty, how are we doing?"

"No new damages to report, shields are holding. Their energy weapons aren't even making a dent."

"So we're not in serious danger," Kirk concluded.

"Aye, we could hold out for a while."

"All right. Sulu, take us out of here," Kirk ordered.

"I'll try, sir." Already Sulu looked slightly flustered - they were, after all, surrounded by hostile ships. Which, upon the Enterprise's first move, opened fire.

The blasts weren't enough to shake the bridge, but Kirk called engineering again. "Scotty?"

"Still holding," came the reply. "Not so much as a flicker. To be honest, I bet they'd run out of power before our shields do."

"Captain, they're following us," Sulu reported. "Moving with us - they're smaller and can navigate among the asteroids better. We're still surrounded."

Kirk sighed in exasperation. "Uhura - see if you can make contact again."

"Yes, sir."

A few seconds later, the grainy images appeared again. "I tell you again," Kirk repeated, "we mean you no harm. We apologize for the intrusion - we would be pleased to leave your territory."

"I am sure you would, soft ones," snarled the one on the right.

"Sickly hairless beings such as you are like gra'takh, fit only for sport," said the other.

"And you will die as they do," the first added, and the two of them laughed as the connection dropped.

The screen now showed several ships firing on them once more, to no noticeable effect. "Captain," Spock put in, "I recommend that we do not return fire. These beings are primitive in their technology; next to ours, they are quite defenseless."

"Agreed - the fact that we made contact at all is regrettable," Kirk stated. "They have no idea how harmless they are to us, they're almost like... children."

"Children that want to blow our brains out," McCoy pointed out as he came to stand beside the captain's chair, having just arrived. "I think by now everyone aboard the Enterprise knows how dangerous even _actual_ children can be in large groups, even when they don't have ships equipped with energy weapons."

Sulu threw his hands up in disgust. "I can't lose them - thanks to the size of their ships, they're just more manueverable than we are among the asteroids. They keep cutting off our escape routes."

"May I make a suggestion, captain?" Spock inquired.

"I'd be quite happy if you did," Kirk replied. "What did you have in mind?"

"I had noticed, during our brief conversations with the alien beings, that in addition to being highly xenophobic, they repeatedly referred to us as 'soft' and 'hairless', and seemed to equate that with weakness," Spock began. "I suspect that this is because they have not visited other inhabited worlds, and on their own, a lack of thick hair would likely be detrimental to survival. To them, we relatively hairless creatures are so weak as to be beneath respect. It is perhaps analogous to the way humans see insects."

"So in order for them to see us as equals," said Kirk, suspecting he knew where this was leading, "we should disguise ourselves as hairy creatures?"

"They have already seen our true appearance," Spock pointed out. "However..."

He paused there, awkwardly. "...Spock?" Kirk prompted.

"If we were framed as merely servants, working under a master to whom they could relate," Spock continued, "they might be willing to listen to reason, if put forth by that master."

"That sounds sensible," Kirk said with a nod. "So we replicate some kind of a costume, and have someone dress up?"

"It had... occurred to me," Spock said, sounding somehow a little reluctant as he stood and went to the captain's side, lowering his voice, "that there is already such a creature to whom they might relate aboard the Enterprise."

Kirk frowned slightly, thinking. McCoy got it first. "Spock... Please tell me you don't mean what I think you mean," he groaned.

"As I seldom understand what you are thinking, doctor," Spock stated, "it is always possible."

Kirk had just gotten it as well. "The sehlat?" he said, incredulous. "But it's just..."

"Although inanimate, it is somewhat lifelike, already available, and the quality of our ship-to-ship visual is poor. I doubt it will be obvious - and as Dr. McCoy's excursion through the emergency access chutes proved, I-Voka can be quite intimidating when one's first glance is unclear."

McCoy glared at him. "You have _got_ to be kidding. You think they'll really fall for that, being intimidated by a stuffed toy?"

"It is a model," Spock stated once again.

"No, Bones - he might have something here," Kirk pondered aloud. "The visual quality really _is_ poor, and the sehlat's not humanoid - any of us in disguise might look like one of us in disguise. The sehlat _couldn't_ be one of us in disguise." He smiled at Spock. "Let's do it. Uhura, prepare to make contact again - Spock, come with me. The rest of you..." He paused by the turbolift and looked around the bridge. "...Get ready to meet the real power behind the Enterprise."

"Oh, dear lord," McCoy groaned, rolling his eyes.

\---

It must have been an unusual sight, the two highest-ranking officers aboard carrying a stuffed animal through the corridors during a red alert. If they were getting any funny looks, Kirk wasn't paying attention; he was too busy discussing the plan with Spock, considering what angle to use. Fortunately, they were both more or less on the same page when it came to what was most likely to get the desired response from the alien beings. It was just a matter of the details.

"In my initial message to the ship, I identified myself as the captain," Kirk was pointing out, as they entered the bridge. He ignored the moderately amused looks from the crew. "I-Voka must hold a higher position."

"That is logical," Spock agreed, setting the sehlat in the captain's chair and kneeling down to pose it. The head was down, somewhat disguising the smile, giving instead the appearance of a baleful glare. "Would admiral suffice?"

"No, they may not understand our military rankings," Kirk replied. "Especially if, as you suggested, they're familiar with tribal factions rather than a unified military. If we really want him to impress them, we need something more universal. Something based on a social ranking system - like a king or a master, for instance. How about 'supreme shipmaster'?"

"That is a title that implies the outranking of even a captain aboard a ship," Spock said with a thoughtful nod. "However, to further the effect, you must speak of him with utmost respect, perhaps a unique form of address. Perhaps 'His Excellency'?"

"Sounds good," Kirk agreed, looking up from the sehlat occupying his chair to the man holding onto the back of it, staring down incredulously. "As long as Bones doesn't ruin the effect. Do I have to ask you to leave the bridge?"

"I thought Vulcans were supposed to be logical," McCoy stated. "This is the most absurd thing I've ever seen aboard this ship - and that's really saying something."

"Hyperbole, doctor - I would venture to say that we have seen far more unusual happenings than this," Spock remarked, finishing his posing of the creature and standing. "Captain, should we add further evidence of I-Voka's high rank by adorning him somehow?"

McCoy snorted. "Now you want to _dress it up_?"

"Er, I think what we've got should be sufficient," Kirk replied, and looked to the rest of the bridge crew. "I know this is a bit strange, but please - everyone be on your best behavior for our temporary shipmaster. Act respectful. That includes you, Bones."

"Right, right," McCoy muttered, stepping off to the side of the bridge, to Spock's usual spot, as Spock knelt behind the chair, where the ship-to-ship visuals likely wouldn't see him. Seeing this, McCoy opened his mouth as if to ask, but then apparently thought better of it.

"Are we ready to make contact again, Uhura?" Kirk asked, taking up a position beside the chair and further hiding Spock's presence.

"At your word, sir."

"All right - and Chekov, stop grinning," Kirk ordered. Chekov obliged, and faced front again. "Uhura, put us through."

When the static pulled together into a coherent, if grainy, image, they found the aliens regarding them curiously. One reached out as if to press something outside the range of the visuals, and the enemy fire stopped. "Who are you?" the other asked.

The first time they'd shown any interest in the identity of those that had ventured into their territory - Spock must have been right about them not respecting relatively hairless creatures. Kirk was about to reply with his planned introduction, but instead, a low, raspy growl came from behind the chair - a voice that he could scarcely believe came from Spock. "I am His Excellency, Supreme Shipmaster I-Voka of Vol-kahn," said the voice. "Who are _you_, to fire upon my vessel unprovoked?"

"I am Lekan of the family Murron, of Temar, and this is my shipmate, Jircas," said the speaker. "Your ship has trespassed into the territory held by our people since the beginning."

"Did my servants not inform you that we were merely passing through, and intended no intrusion?" the voice growled. "My just due, perhaps, for allowing such beings to serve me."

"They did inform us of such," Lekan admitted. "We did not think such soft, weak creatures worthy of our consideration."

"Then perhaps you would do well to consider me, and the power I wield," snarled the voice. "Although my servants are weak, they have behaved with more logic than you upon this day. You have fired upon my ship without reason, refused to allow us passage, and frightened my servants. But as you can see from the servants I keep, I am merciful. If you agree to impede our journey no further, I will leave your territory without destroying you - as I did not destroy these beings."

Seeing that Spock was handling things just fine on his own, Kirk dared to steal a glance at McCoy. McCoy was looking off in the opposite direction, biting his lip valiantly, and Kirk made his glance more stern.

"Very well, I-Voka of Vol-kahn," Lekan agreed, grudgingly, with an almost respectful bow. "Our ships will clear a path. However, if you deviate from your course in such a way as to approach our world, we will not be so merciful as you."

"Let it be as you have said, Lekan of Temar," said the raspy voice - and from behind the chair, Spock did something that made the sehlat appear to bow slightly. "Lieutenant, end transmission."

"Yes, sir. Your Excellency," Uhura added quickly, and did so.

Not a moment too soon, because McCoy was practically bent over the science station laughing. The wide grin Chekov had earlier was spreading rapidly across his face again, and Sulu had his head down on the console in front of him. Uhura was giggling too as Spock rose to his feet, looking as serious and sober as ever. "I am uncertain," he stated, looking around at the rest of them, "as to why it is so amusing that we have managed to free ourselves from these beings, with no harm done to either them or ourselves."

"It was the 'Lieutenant, end transmission', that did me in, sir," Chekov spoke up. "You sounded very much like the captain."

"Now, Mr. Chekov," Kirk said in mock reproval, grinning himself. "I'm quite sure that I sound _nothing_ like that. But Spock - well done. I had no idea you had it in you."

"I was merely attempting to mimic the abrasive, hostile quality of our opponents' voices," Spock replied simply. "From their reactions, it would seem that the attempt was sufficient."

"The alien ships _are_ moving away," Sulu confirmed, straightening up again.

"All right, cancel red alert - and take us out of here," Kirk ordered, stepping forward to look over Sulu and Chekov's shoulders at the consoles. "The way we were originally headed. As our, ah, Supreme Shipmaster said, we're just passing through - we'll just make sure to take a different route on the way back."

"Yes, captain - I'll begin plotting a course now," Chekov agreed, as Sulu began to steer them around the asteroids that remained.

As Spock returned to his station, Kirk stepped back towards his chair - and realized when he tried to sit down that something was already occupying it.

"Captain," Uhura spoke up, the laughter still in her voice. "I don't think it's very respectful to sit on the shipmaster."

"You're quite right," Kirk agreed, picking up the sehlat and looking it over. "Spock, do you think our shipmaster would mind sitting _beside_ my chair?"

"I do not see why that would be objectionable; it is, after all, the _captain's_ chair, not the shipmaster's."

The straight-faced reply made McCoy chuckle under his breath, as he came to resume his usual position on the opposite side of the chair from where Kirk was settling the sehlat. "Don't you think Spock should escort _His Excellency_ back to his quarters, Jim?"

"Unfortunately, doctor," Spock said, never looking up from the instruments, "I am busy performing the tasks which necessitated our passage through this system. If you do not appreciate his presence on the bridge-"

"Don't appreciate it?" McCoy spoke up preemptively, starting to laugh again. "I think that was worth _everything_ I've had to put up with since I joined Starfleet. The titles, that voice..."

"Glad to hear it's all worked out for you," Kirk said with an easy smile. "Anyway, I think he should stick around a little longer," he stated, giving a pat to the sehlat's head. "Just long enough for us to be sure he's no longer needed."

McCoy shook his head, still amused. "Can't wait to hear the report you're going to have to send back to Starfleet about this."

"It'll be an interesting report, certainly. And that reminds me," Kirk said abruptly, turning to face the science station. "Perhaps rather than the captain, the shipmaster would like to make an entry in the ship's log...?"

Spock did glance back at them then, taking in their expectant looks. "With all due respect, captain, I-Voka has always been a sehlat of few words," he stated, seemingly in all seriousness. "I am sure he would prefer for you to make the log entry."

"Nice try, Jim," McCoy said, with a clap to the captain's shoulder.

Kirk shrugged. "Had to give it a shot."

Spock simply raised one eyebrow, then returned to his analysis of the readings given by the ship's sensors.

Kirk glanced down, resting his hand on the sehlat's head fondly. He had the feeling that he and Bones would be telling tales of Supreme Shipmaster I-Voka of Vol-kahn for some time to come.

**Author's Note:**

> As may be obvious, the opening scene was drawn from the Animated Series episode, "Yesteryear", which featured young Spock and I-Chaya, as the OP implied. However, technically speaking, the events seen in that episode took place in an alternate history - which means either this fic also takes place in an alternate history, or the opening scene is not referring to the events of the episode, but something that happened at a later date. Yay, time paradox! Trek didn't have enough of those already...


End file.
